About a year ago, I went to a party at a friend’s house. The place was crowded. There was a bunch of people there that I hadn’t seen since high school. We were all having a good time, drinking, dancing, and catching up on what everyone’s up to now that most of us are done with college. I’m a pretty big guy and I can usually handle my drinks, but I guess I got a little carried away that night ’cause I started getting real tired and then the room started spinning. Fearing the inevitable I went into my friend’s room and crawled into bed. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I came to, the house was much quieter. I was still barely awake but I soon realized I was not alone. I looked down to find a girl on top of me. My pants were undone and she was going down on me. I freaked. I had no idea what to do; I barely even knew what was going on. I lifted me head and said, “Excuse me, who are you and what are you doing?” She calmly looked up at me and said, “What’s your problem? Do you really want me to stop?” I was so confused. I told her to go away. She got upset with me and called me all sorts of names and then she was gone. I never told anyone about this. I mean, what would the guys think if I complained about getting head from a girl with no strings attached? Guys are supposed to want that stuff, right? Well, I didn’t. I felt violated, ashamed and alone. I never saw her again and I never mentioned it to anyone. Is this sexual assault or am I overreacting?

A person who is passed out, asleep, or under the influence of drugs and alcohol cannot consent to sexual activity. It is never okay to touch someone without her or his permission. This is true for both males and female regardless of age.