By Katherine Corcoran, San Jose Mercury News

San Jose- Debbie Liscure threw out a hypothetical situation to her teenage audience, mostly boys: What would you do if your girlfriend was wearing clothes you thought were to revealing?

" I'd offer to take her shopping," said Festami "Sammy" Mesheha, 17." Make her look more presentable."

It was just the response Licurse was looking for: Not the right answer, but one that would help her show the students the difference between concern and control.

Through a new South Bay program called Peace-It-Together, Licurse aims to teach teenagers about dating violence and the correct way to handle conflict in relationships, including keeping normal emotions from crossing the line into abusive behavior..

"How do you think you would feel if someone said that to you? "I don't like what you're wearing so I'm taking you shopping." She continued. "We let the person wear whatever they want, but you let them know how you feel."

In Santa Clara County, which has the nation's first domestic violence court aimed at juvenile offenders, Licurse wants to reach people before they offend or become victims.

After working several years as a counselor for teens who are court-referred for committing domestic and family violence, Licurse formed Peace-It-Together in May to bring the message to all teens, not just those who have been violent are who are at risk of becoming so.

" I didn't see a lot of prevention," Said Licurse, who coordinates teen violence prevention and intervention programs for the Center of Human Development of San Jose. "I think one of the greatest observations I've had among teens is the minimization of emotional abuse, using terms such as "Bitch" and not being able to communicate one's feelings. The only emotion I hear from girls and boys is "I'm pissed off. I'm angry and upset." They need to expand their vocabulary on feeling words and express those feelings, but they don't know how to do it."

Peace-It-Together offers courses for people ages 12 to 19 on warning signs of abuse, the dynamics of power and control and conflict resolution skills, among other topics. The course is offered through school and community centers.

On an early December morning, the last six weeks of sessions. Licurse was teaching students about "self-talk," and how they can change the messages they give themselves when they are angry. She gave students examples of stressful situations to practice their "self talk." Such as a girlfriend wants to break up. "Maybe it was meant to be," Sammy offered as a positive statement.

"Peace-It-Together is awesome. "More than 90 percent of students in our population have experienced severe trauma in their young lives- child abuse, physical, sexual said Pat Kennedy, Pinnacle director of school programs and adolescent day treatment." If you go through it, you tend to repeat it. This way they can work on other options and skills."

Students said they liked the program because it was more than just lectures. Most sessions involve role-playing and games.

"I learned domestic violence doesn't have to mean hitting somebody. If you get mad and throw something, that's domestic violence," said 17 year-old Mickey Nguyen.

"I came up through the children's shelter, and I've seen this so many times and worse," said a 16 year-old named Cory, who would not give his last name. " It's about time a school had a program to teach kids to avoid these situations.